How to Handle Student Behavior Like a Pro

You know that moment—the banshee scream echoes down the hall, and suddenly, all eyes are on you. The walkies go off, teachers are calling your name, and once again, you’re expected to drop everything and handle the latest behavior meltdown.

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone.

This time of year, behavior issues ramp up, and school counselors often find themselves at the center of the storm. But honestly, most of the advice out there on behavior intervention is not designed for you. You’re not a teacher managing a classroom. You’re not an administrator making discipline decisions. So what should your role be?

In this episode, we’re looking at:
✔ Why traditional behavior strategies don’t always work for school counselors
✔ The three biggest obstacles standing in your way
✔ Real, practical de-escalation techniques that actually work in the moment
✔ How to handle the pressure, the judgment, and the constant disruptions

And if you’re exhausted from being called to behavior crises over and over again, we’ve got support for you.

💡 The Behavior Breakthrough Kit is coming soon—practical, ready-to-use tools to help you navigate behavior intervention with confidence. [Click here to join the waitlist.]

💡 Want real-time troubleshooting and expert support? Join us inside the School for School Counselors Mastermind. Get weekly case consultations and practical strategies you won’t find anywhere else. [Click here to learn more]

Behavior intervention doesn’t have to drain you. Let’s talk about what actually works.

00:00 The Banshee Scream: A School Counselor's First Experience

01:25 Welcome to the School for School Counselors Podcast

02:09 The Reality of Behavior Intervention in Schools

03:32 Real Talk: Effective Behavior Intervention Strategies

04:10 The Authoritative Counselor Approach

05:30 Challenges in Behavior Intervention

10:43 Practical Techniques for De-escalation

20:00 Support and Resources for School Counselors

22:41 Conclusion: Navigating Behavior Intervention Together

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Our goal at School for School Counselors is to help school counselors stay on fire, make huge impacts for students, and catalyze change for our roles through grassroots advocacy and collaboration. Listen to get to know more about us and our mission, feel empowered and inspired, and set yourself up for success in the wonderful world of school counseling.

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Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction to Behavior Intervention
• 10:06 The Evolution of Counseling Practices
• 30:06 Practical Strategies for De
• 50:06 Overcoming Common Roadblocks
• 1:00:06 The Emotional Toll of Interventions
• 1:20:06 Resources and Support for Counselors

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:06

We knew it as soon as we heard the banshee scream. Do you know what I mean when I say that? That one yell, that one certain voice, the tone just instantly lets you know exactly which student is in distress. Because you've heard it so many times? We were trained. It was almost like Pavlov's dog. As soon as we heard that shriek coming down the hallway, we sprung up, we grabbed our walkies, we took our earrings out and we went to the rescue. That was one of my very first school counseling jobs and I can remember thinking in the back of my mind oh dear Lord, please do not let me be the only one on campus when this happens. I don't want to be responsible for this situation on my own Because, to be honest, I was a little terrified. This kiddo was unpredictable. We weren't sure what his move was going to be, and I wasn't especially practiced in behavior intervention and I think, too, you know, when we show up to intervene in behavior concerns on campus, because it's so unpredictable and because there are so many moving parts to the process, it ends up feeling super overwhelming.

Speaker 1: 1:32

Hey, welcome back to the School for School Counselors podcast. I'm Steph Johnson. I'm a full-time school counselor, just like you on a mission to make school counseling feel more sustainable and more enjoyable, because I want you to look forward to walking through the doors of your school each and every day. I want you to feel accomplished and I want you to look forward to walking through the doors of your school each and every day. I want you to feel accomplished and I want you to feel confident. And that's what this podcast is all about your weekly masterclass on school counseling success, a deep dive into the information. You need to feel like you have the knowledge and the expertise to do this amazing job that I know you were put on the planet to carry out. Now, most of us know about behavior intervention all too well, in that we are very, very involved in it, and this time of year, as we're heading into spring, we're going to be noticing behaviors ramping up and y'all I can tell you from talking with the members of my School for School Counselors Mastermind it is everyone. So we need to be talking about behavior intervention. We need to be sharing our approaches and supporting one another through what feels like a more and more difficult landscape.

Speaker 1: 2:55

But here's the thing. I could dive into a bunch of tactics or techniques for behavior intervention. But there's two problems with that. Number one, you've probably heard that all before. And number two, has it really been of great help to you? You may have picked up a few things here or there that help in behavior intervention situations, but I'm also going to bet that you were left feeling like there has to be something more, especially when you're not in control of staffing on your campus. You're not in control of who gets pulled to de-escalate behavior, especially when it's you, and so, instead of talking about all of these perfect world pie-in-the-sky scenarios for behavior intervention y'all, we're going to get real today. I hope that you're looking forward to this, because we're going to have some real talk about behavior intervention for school counselors.

Speaker 1: 3:58

Now, if you've been listening to the podcast for a while, you may have heard an old episode. I think it was about a year and a half ago. Back in September 2023, I put out a podcast episode called Unpacking School Discipline a surprising guide for school counselors, and in that episode, I compared school counseling behavior intervention approaches to parenting styles, and the ultimate outcome of that conversation is that we want to be an authoritative counselor. Do you remember your parenting styles? Authoritarian, authoritative and permissive. We want to be the authoritative counselor. We're giving firm, clear boundaries, but we're also providing a lot of empathy and love.

Speaker 1: 4:54

But y'all that's hard when you're constantly called to de-escalate students in crisis or behavior meltdowns, and especially when you see the same students over and over again. It's exhausting. And even if you have a great multi-tiered system or a great behavior RTI framework which most experts will tell you is the holy grail, it's still so tiring Between trying to maintain your own schedule, getting pulled away from your core counseling work and that constant feeling of being in the spotlight anytime you arrive in a hallway or a classroom to help with intervention. It can be maddening. So let's talk about some of the things that are standing in your way. First is time.

Speaker 1: 5:44

We all know in our work we are juggling a million things at once, but then often we're expected to drop everything and run across campus to help a student re-regulate and y'all. That never happens when it's convenient, right? It's never when you have nothing going on. It's when you're in the middle of a conversation, or you're working on plans, or you're trying to wrap up some sort of important task, or even in the middle of talking to another student. And then boom, all the walkies go off, Everybody starts looking for you and you're needed to go somewhere else.

Speaker 1: 6:21

The thing about this kind of behavior response is that the disruption isn't just in the moment, it's not just when the behavior is occurring and, you know, maybe a little bit after that it throws your entire day off, and if it happens often enough, you know, maybe it happens every couple of days, gracious, even every day. I've had some situations where I've had students going off almost every single day. It is freaking draining. You feel like you're constantly spinning your wheels and you're never, ever going to be able to catch up. One of the things that I see school counselors talk about most is having lots of small group counseling or counseling lessons scheduled, because we know students need consistency. But then by the middle of the week you've only had one of those lessons or one of those groups, because the behavior calls keep rolling in and by the time the week is over, you're starting to wonder why am I here at all? Why do I even try to schedule this stuff if I'm going to constantly be pulled away?

Speaker 1: 7:31

That leads to your second obstacle, which is feeling like you're overscheduled. You start to get afraid to schedule small groups or lessons, or even individual kids, because you know eventually you're going to have to cancel somebody. And the worst part about it is you want to show up for these students, you want to build consistency, you want to provide that support, but every time you have to leave that and head toward a behavior concern, it chips away at your foundation of proactive, structured support for your students. It's like you're constantly on defense instead of offense and then you start thinking, well, I mean, should I be scheduling things at all? What's the point? You could schedule some protected time when behavior calls are going to be handled by another staff member. You could try to carve out an hour a day, maybe a couple hours, where you know you have some guaranteed student facing time. But I also know that that's not possible on a lot of campuses. This is exactly why I don't immediately schedule small groups at the start of the school year Y'all. I have to wait. I have to see what behavior concerns have arrived on my campus, maybe which behavior concerns are kicking off again and what adjustment concerns I'm going to be seeing before I start scheduling a bunch of folks. Is that opposite of how we typically think of our multi-tiered systems of support? Yes, it is. But here's the thing If you're running a truly comprehensive school counseling program that's aligned with multi-tiered systems of support, you also know you're not going to be running a caseload of 1 to 700 or 1 to 800, like so many school counselors are doing. So we're going to have to cut ourselves a break here a little bit. Many school counselors are doing so. We're going to have to cut ourselves a break here a little bit.

Speaker 1: 9:34

The third roadblock and this is a huge one, this is one we don't talk about enough is feeling incompetent. You show up to an escalated student issue, you are trying everything you know and it feels like it's not working. And even worse, it feels like everybody's watching you and that pressure can feel super overwhelming. It's like you're on a big stage in the spotlight and everybody's watching you and whispering can they do it? You know you've read the research, you've practiced the techniques, but still some days it feels like nothing's landing. I talk a lot about this kind of behavior hurdle in my masterclass called Behavior Intervention for School Counselors. We're getting ready to hold that masterclass again in the mastermind coming up on March 23rd. That's a Sunday, that's when we have our masterclasses. And if you not only need a little additional behavior guidance, but you would also like to troubleshoot in real time y'all. This masterclass is where it's at. You can find out more information about that at schoolforschoolcounselorscom. Slash mastermind.

Speaker 1: 10:48

But back to the point. What in the world do you do? What are some practical techniques you can use for de-escalation that are actually going to work in the real world? Let me see if I can help you with some ideas. Can help you with some ideas.

Speaker 1: 11:12

Number one walk slowly. That seems so silly, doesn't it? But I'm here to tell you I noticed a significant change when I started walking deliberately and intentionally to behavior calls. I don't get in a hurry, I don't rush because on the way, as I'm walking at a somewhat leisurely pace, I'm grounding myself, I'm breathing deep, I'm preparing my mind so that when I arrive in that situation, I can arrive calm, cool and collected, without a bunch of stress hormones already flooding my body. Collected without a bunch of stress hormones already flooding my body. If you can move intentionally, breathe deeply and arrive feeling composed, you're going to be calm and the student is going to be more likely to match your energy. You can also have a bank of go-to strategies.

Speaker 1: 12:06

Now, this is nothing earth-shattering. These are probably things you already know about, but what people don't tell you is sometimes simplest is best. We don't need a bunch of fancy techniques to intervene in behavior, because really your power is in your presence. Non-verbal cues, just a nod, a smile if it's appropriate, or sitting near a student without getting too close. That can sometimes be more effective than walking in and barking orders or starting to give choices or starting to say if then or first, then all those kinds of things you're told to do.

Speaker 1: 12:51

Sometimes the best thing to say is nothing at all, especially when a student is dysregulated because y'all their thinking brain is not online in that moment. You can talk to them all you want, but they're probably not going to hear you. You need to reduce the audience. This is a confidence issue for a lot of school counselors. They feel, when they arrive at a behavior concern, that they don't have the authority or the right to tell people to move away. You must claim that I have trained many school staffs on the fact that when I arrive to behavior intervention because you've called me, your involvement in the situation is pretty much over. I'm going to take it from here, because if you're calling me, that means it's gotten to a point that you can no longer handle that, and there's no shame in that. But I surely don't want you hanging around trying all the things you've already tried before, trying all the things you've already tried before. So don't be afraid to be assertive and reduce the audience Along with that.

Speaker 1: 14:07

Be ready to stop the barking chihuahua. What do I mean when I say that? A lot of times, when you arrive to classroom concerns especially if you have a teacher who has become dysregulated in the situation as well they meet you in the hallway or at the door and they start yipping and yapping like a chihuahua. Let me tell you what happened First this, then that, and they want to give you this full play-by-play in this high-pitched, fast voice. That is going to do no one any good. The recap can wait. You do not need all the details to intervene in the behavior. It's true, and I think sometimes we think, if we allow that play-by-play, it's going to give us some clue as to what we need to do next. But in my experience, nine times out of 10, it only serves to worsen the problem. So stop the chihuahua.

Speaker 1: 15:09

There are some really kind ways to do that in the moment, but again, you have to claim your authority, you have to be ready to do that and to be able to call the shots. During behavior intervention, I use a visual cue for staff member disengagement. I have a special card that I wear on the back of my badge and I have made that available to my mastermind members as well. So all we have to do is flip that badge and be able to communicate what needs to be said without actually speaking any words. And last, be ready to do what feels like nothing, and nothing is actually a big something, but people don't realize it.

Speaker 1: 15:57

If you're in a position to sit with a student calmly, to not make demands, to just remain grounded in your experience and wait for them to come around to you, those mirror neurons in their brain are going to kick in and they're going to begin to try to match your regulation state, regulation state. So, even though we feel like we should show up and do something, sometimes the best thing to do looks like nothing at all. Be ready to do nothing, so to speak. So just a few ideas of what to do in the moment. And again, none of this is groundbreaking. All of the tactics that you're often told to do often just escalate the situation.

Speaker 1: 16:47

But if we can push past the fear of being judged, of people thinking we're just sitting there with them doing nothing, or the fear of asking them hey, you want to get out of here for a little while and wondering if the teacher's going to look at us and think well, it must be nice to go play games and have fun. After something like this, you've just got to let all of that go. You have to be confident in your competence and your expertise and if you're prepared to explain the mechanisms if anyone ever calls you out on it, you're good. Because, my friend, there are going to be naysayers on every single campus. I recently spoke at a school counselor symposium and one of the school counselors that attended told me a terrible story about a teacher who was actively seeking to undermine the school counselor's behavior. Response they're everywhere, y'all, but we can't let them derail what we know needs to happen in the moment Nonverbal cues, reducing the audience, getting rid of the chihuahuas, being ready to do what looks like nothing, ready to do what looks like nothing, and then maybe at the end of it, you can do a quick review with the staff members involved what worked, what didn't, what could we do differently next time, but that only happens after everyone is re-regulated and ready to go, and ready to go Far and away.

Speaker 1: 18:30

What I want you to take away from this podcast episode is that you do amazing work and if you're giving it everything you have, you are absolutely doing enough. Hold tight to what you know about psychology and brain chemistry and behavior intervention. You know what to do. You just need to trust yourself. We are planting seeds for longer-term behavior changes. We're building trust in the moment, without giving a whole bunch of baloney commands, because our role in these situations isn't to fix it. It's to model emotional regulation, to be a steady and safe presence for a child who is experiencing monumental difficulty, and sometimes the biggest win in these situations is that they didn't escalate any further than they already had.

Speaker 1: 19:35

Y'all, this is a tough time of year. We're past the newness of the school year, we're past the holidays, all of the big events, and you may have some longer stretches of time during the spring, without days off, without student holidays and things like that, and so the road seems long. People are getting tired, they're getting testy and, as a result, we do tend to see behavior concerns tick up this time of year. So I've got a couple resources for you. Number one I am considering releasing something called the Behavior Breakthrough Kit. The Behavior Breakthrough Kit is going to give you some additional resources for managing behavior intervention Because, like it or not appropriate school counseling duty or not so many of us are called to be part of these concerns, and sometimes we're the only ones that are called to be part of these concerns.

Speaker 1: 20:41

So I want to give you a kit that's really going to help you feel like you're on the right track. What if you had more in-depth behavior training? What if you had a flow chart to help you decide where things need to go? What if you had a framework for decision making to determine whether or not you're involved with dysregulation or defiance, because I know that's something we question all the time. What if you could grab all of these things in a toolkit together to help you with your behavior intervention?

Speaker 1: 21:19

As I said, I'm considering releasing this. I'm not sure if the interest is there, but if it is, if you think this could be something that could up-level your school counseling game, I am here for it. You can go to the website schoolforschoolcounselorscom and at the very top of that home page you're going to see a link that you can click to enter your name and email address to jump on the wait list and if we get enough interest to finalize this behavior breakthrough kit, you are going to be one of the first to know. Secondly, if you feel like you need some faster and more personal support, you know we're here for you. In our School for School Counselors Mastermind, we hold weekly case consultations and we talk every single meeting about these kinds of struggles. My friend, you do not have to do this alone and, unlike other school counseling memberships where they throw a bunch of resources at you and tell you good luck, hope you make it, we're there each and every week supporting you through the implementation. We're not leaving you out to dry or making you wait a month until you can ask your questions. We're there every week to support and to guide you through whatever you're experiencing on your campus. You can find out more about that at schoolforschoolcounselorscom.

Speaker 1: 22:45

Slash mastermind All right y'all. Behavior intervention. It can feel sticky. It can feel scary just like I was so scared of my little banshee whale student that I had so many years ago. But the good news is you've got this. We've got this and we can navigate this scary terrain together. I am so glad you joined me for this episode and I can't wait to talk to you again in the next episode of the School for School Counselors podcast. I'll be back with you soon and until then, take care.