Should I Quit My School Counseling Job?

You’ve been holding it in all year.

The long hours, the invisible work, the constant pressure to stay calm while everything around you feels like it’s unraveling... And now that the school year’s winding down, one question keeps echoing louder than the rest:

“Can I really do this again next year?”

In this deeply personal episode, I’m not here to hand you a checklist or tell you what to do. I’m here as a fellow counselor, walking through the same hard questions- right alongside you.

We’ll talk about:

• The quiet signs it might be time to move on (even if nothing “dramatic” has happened)
• What staying with intention actually looks like
• Why redesigning your role could work- and when it absolutely won’t
• A gut-check framework that helps you make the call without spiraling
• And what to do if you feel like you don’t even have a choice right now

If you’ve ever felt like the only one who’s wondering whether it’s time to go, this episode will remind you: you’re not alone- and you don't have to feel stuck.

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⭐️ Want support with real-world strategies that actually work on your campus? We’re doing that every day in the School for School Counselors Mastermind. Come join us! ⭐️

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Our goal at School for School Counselors is to help school counselors stay on fire, make huge impacts for students, and catalyze change for our roles through grassroots advocacy and collaboration. Listen to get to know more about us and our mission, feel empowered and inspired, and set yourself up for success in the wonderful world of school counseling.

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Chapters

• 0:00 The Crow's Cage: A Metaphor
• 2:16 Signs You've Outgrown Your Position
• 6:48 Pushed Out, Pulled Away, Outgrown
• 10:12 When Staying Is The Right Choice
• 17:18 The READY Framework For Decisions
• 24:29 Finding Peace With Your Choice
• 30:02 Celebrating Your Impact As A Counselor

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:06

There once was a crow in a cage made of wire, perched near a market, just feet from the fire and the chatter and clatter and heat of the street. But the cage felt familiar and the scraps were a treat. The door stood open. He could have flown far. But why chase the clouds? When you're fed where you are, it's fine, he told himself day after day. Why risk the unknown when it's safer to stay? But seasons passed and the shopkeeper changed. The scraps came less often, the weather grew strange and something inside him, quiet at first, grew louder and sharper. Beyond hunger or thirst. I've lived on crumbs and called it a life, stayed in a cage because comfort felt right, I thought it was safe. But I've been playing small. Maybe this cage wasn't awesome at all. So one windy morning he looked to the sky, didn't wait, didn't weigh, didn't justify. He spread his wings and, with a heart full of doubt, the crow finally finally flew out.

Speaker 1: 1:24

Hey, we've been having a lot of fun in our School for School Counselors Mastermind lately with school counseling poems courtesy of ChatGPT. It's been some great entertainment for us and also pretty inspirational, and that's kind of what inspired me to start this podcast episode in this way, because this is what we are talking about the moment when you realize you might have outgrown where you are and you might be thinking about leaving, or you might be wishing you could stay, or maybe you're just completely unsure. If any of those describe you, my friend, this podcast episode is for you. Hey, my friend, welcome back to the School for School Counselors podcast. For the counselors who are juggling it all and wondering when it's finally going to make sense, I'm Steph Johnson, a licensed professional counselor, full-time school counselor just like you, and founder of School for School Counselors, where we've been leading the conversation since 2020. If you're tired of school counseling advice that sounds like it came from Pinterest, you're in the right place. Okay, I'm going to be honest with you. I have recorded and re-recorded this episode several times because I wanted to try to get it as close to exactly right as I could, and the reason for that beyond any of my other podcast episodes, where I always try to be meticulous and thoughtful about the information I present, this one weighed extra heavy because it involves such big ideas and things that are so important to our lives.

Speaker 1: 3:19

If you're feeling unsettled in your work right now, you are definitely not alone, and this time of year always stirs things up, doesn't it? Even more than usual, because we have all the end of year pressure, all the chaos on campus. The behavior roller coaster continues to roll on and it all starts to add up and weigh down on our shoulders, doesn't it? And for us especially, I feel like this time of year just feels really heavy, because you've spent months trying to be everything to everyone at your school and you've probably not really stopped and asked yourself how am I doing anywhere along the way. And then, when you finally do get a minute, you start thinking things like. You start thinking things like I don't know if I can do this again next year. Do you feel that way? I mean, we are all so tired and if you are in a place that is not fulfilling your heart and your soul, it is easy to start thinking that direction. But that's why this podcast and its ideas and its tone was so important for me to get right.

Speaker 1: 4:35

Because when you see conversations like this floating around on social media, you see people posting things like A, b and C are happening on my campus. I'm unhappy, I'm not sure I can go somewhere else, but I don't know what else to do. Inevitably, the majority of replies or comments go along the line of you know, you've got to make yourself happy, you've got to do what's best for you, and while that advice is well-meaning, it's often misdirected. It's easy to give those little quips to someone that you don't know right, or to comment on a situation where you have absolutely no stake in the outcome. You don't have to look that person in the eye if it goes the wrong direction. Now, I hope this doesn't sound weird, but when I record these podcast episodes, I see you right in front of me. I imagine your face, I imagine that we're having coffee together and we're having the best conversation, and so I want to bring my best to this conversation to help you really, really discern what your true thoughts and feelings are about your situation and to help guide you toward making the best decision for you.

Speaker 1: 5:55

Now, typically, when we think about leaving a school counseling position, it's because you're in one of three places. Either you're being pushed out, and that could be through burnout, maybe you have a toxic principal, maybe just the way things are going at your school don't make sense anymore. Whatever the case may be, those circumstances are pushing you out of the position, or you might be being pulled towards something else. Maybe you see something that feels like it's going to be a better fit, whether that's a position at another campus or in another district, or whether that's another career field entirely. Sometimes we can also feel pulled toward better balance or just a job that gives you a little bit more breathing room. Or third, sometimes you've just outgrown what you're doing. You're ready for something more, something bigger. You're looking for what's next, even if you don't really know what that is yet.

Speaker 1: 7:08

I can tell you with 100% honesty. I have been in all three of those situations. I've been in a toxic environment that pushed me out of the school and, to be totally honest, I stayed way longer than I should have. I have been pulled into new positions where I could strike a better professional balance. I came out of a little higher trauma situation into something a little bit more manageable. And then I have been in a position where I've outgrown where I am and, incidentally, that's why you're listening to this podcast I am and, incidentally, that's why you're listening to this podcast, because it helped me to address that next thing. I decided that I wanted to stay with what I was doing, that I wanted to grow and help more school counselors in a different kind of way. But back to you, because that's what this is all about.

Speaker 1: 8:22

Here are some questions to kind of get you thinking in which direction you feel you might be being pushed or pulled or drawn toward. First, is your school counseling role now aligned to what matters to you? Some of us have a heart for trauma-informed work, but we can't engage in that on our campuses. It's dismissed, it's poo-pooed, no one wants to hear about trauma and it's demoralizing. Some of us have a spot in our hearts for students with special needs, but we're not allowed to serve them on our campuses. That's for the school psych or the therapist. Some of us are drawn toward building relationships with community agencies and bringing outside factors into the campus, but that's frowned upon where you are. They circle the wagons. They don't want to let anybody in. Could be a lot of things.

Speaker 1: 9:09

But is your job aligned with what matters to you? Then consider is your job sustainable for your health, for your family and for your sanity, right, your peace of mind? Can you keep going in the role that you're currently in and can you grow in your current position? Or are you just sticking around because it's familiar or you don't know where else to go. These are really important, and that last one is particularly important because, like the crow, you don't want to stick around and get the scraps just because that's all you've ever known. Right Now, I'm not telling you again that if you're unhappy you should leave, but I do want you to consider these questions.

Speaker 1: 10:06

You might be thinking about leaving if you've tried advocating on your campus but nothing has changed. Or worse, you've tried advocating on your campus and you have been actively undermined. That's not a fun feeling. You might be dealing with a lot of physical symptoms like headaches, insomnia or that gut punch on Sunday night knowing that you have to walk through the doors on Monday morning. You may have stopped dreaming about what's next and your daydreams are now solely focused around quitting. Or maybe you're in a situation where you're bending your ethics just to make it through the day. If those hit a little bit too close to home, it might be time to listen to your nervous system.

Speaker 1: 11:02

So make a values versus reality list. To be sure, write down your top five non-negotiables. What are the qualities, the characteristics, the components of life for you that are non-negotiable? You can Google a list of core values, if that helps you come up with the vocabulary. What is it that drives you, not only in your work but in your day-to-day life Generosity, altruism, leadership, understanding. What is it that fills your heart with joy and gives you a purpose? And then consider, after you've made that list, how many of those are present in your work right now. Or are you finding yourself constantly having to make peace with the fact that they're not there? If most of your core values have been missing for a while, it might be time to ask yourself what it's costing you to stay and that's not quitting my friend no-transcript.

Speaker 1: 12:21

So, that being said, let's not pretend like leaving is always the answer. Sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is to stay, or sometimes that's the only option that you have. Let's be honest. If you're still learning where you are right now, or if you're in a season where you need the stability of knowing you have the job, knowing what your pay is, knowing that you have those benefits, that's real. Or maybe you really like the people that you work with, you really like your students, or you like the things you do day to day. You just don't love everything that's going on. You might want to consider sticking around. So you have to do it in a way that still feels sustainable, that you are not going to end up hating your job and your life by the end of next year.

Speaker 1: 13:21

So block off some sacred time for yourself and you may be laughing at me right now because I know that feels impossible on so many school campuses, but I promise you, if you get intentional about this, it can be done. You can find those pockets in the day that are less likely to harbor explosions. You can find a little bit of time in your day to close your office door, maybe to hide in the closet if you need to, just to have a minute to think and to have your own time to process whatever it is you've been doing that day. That is not an unreasonable expectation. You could also think about some of the non-counseling things you've been doing just because nobody else will do it, and figure out how to start downloading that to someone else, not necessarily standing up and planting the flag and saying I am not doing this anymore. This is not a school counseling responsibility. You've seen those lists, right? Yeah, don't do that. Don't present your administrator with a list and say I'm not doing this anymore, because 99% of the time that does not go well, but you can start thinking about how you can ease your way out of those responsibilities. And again, if you're listening and you're thinking, ain't no way, steph, there is no way that is ever going to happen.

Speaker 1: 14:47

That's where good consultation comes into the picture, because when you're engaging in good quality consultation with the same professional cadre, what happens is those people get to know you. They get to know your school, your campus, how it works. They know your circumstances, they know your circumstances, they know your challenges. And then, as we start to have conversations about how to offload some of these things, they give you suggestions that actually make sense because they know you. And this is where the internet questions and chats with people you don't know go wrong. This is where other types of consultation that are provided through other school counselor organizations falls flat. No shade. But when you're only meeting once a month, it doesn't cut it.

Speaker 1: 15:40

But I digress. So we're blocking off some time for ourselves 30 minutes, even once a week, then looking at offloading some of the things that we've done just because nobody else would do them, and then start tracking your use of time. I know, I know it is so hard, but I promise you it is eye-opening and it's going to help you tell a story about your time, not only to yourself, but to the people that make these kinds of decisions on your campus. Again, that's something that we look at intensively throughout the school year in our School for School Counselors, mastermind. But the point is being able to name the ways that the system is set up unfairly, being able to justify just a smidge of downtime in your week and knowing where your efforts are really going. That gives you power where you are. So if you decide that you want to stay or that's the only option that you have, these things can give you a little bit of solace and a little bit of strength as you work toward the next thing.

Speaker 1: 16:51

Now there is a third option beyond leaving or staying. If you're not ready to leave but you don't wanna stay with the way things are and you don't feel like the suggestions I've just given are good enough. They're not going to move the needle enough for you. Suggestions I've just given are good enough. They're not going to move the needle enough for you. You might be able to stay and redesign your role if the environment will support it.

Speaker 1: 17:22

Sometimes that does mean again shifting some responsibilities. Sometimes it means making a case for a different kind of schedule. So many of you are scheduled to the minute throughout your day that you're almost not even a counselor anymore. You're more like an SEL teacher, right, and you throw some moments of emergency response in between the classes that you're teaching Y'all. That is crazy. That is absolutely nuts that we are expecting school counselors to do that. So if your environment can support it, you might be in a position where you can make a case for a better schedule or again use that data to back up these requests for some other changes that you've been asking for. Sometimes your leadership is going to be open to that. Sometimes they'll surprise you.

Speaker 1: 18:06

I do think it's important to have laid a fundamental foundation of knowing, liking and trusting. So this is not something that you're going to be able to walk in first year, maybe even second or third year and suggest and have everybody jumping up and down for joy at your suggestions because you're so smart and brilliant. Now, we know you're smart and brilliant, but they're not going to see your brilliance until they've worked with you for a little while, and that process moves more slowly than I think we sometimes realize, because principals have been burned by teachers and by other staff members, who show up like rock stars and then the longer time goes on, the more their actual, real selves start to shine through. And so, fair or not, you're kind of in that bucket until you prove it wrong. You've got to get in there and do some good work, build your authority, develop some clout with your administrators so that you're in a position to make these suggestions and be successful. It is possible to do that and, again, with some good consultation, you're going to be able to travel down that path much more successfully. But if you've already tried that and not only were you turned down, because that's not the end of the world, right, you can always try again.

Speaker 1: 19:32

But if you were dismissed, if you were minimized or you were made to feel like you were the problem, then that door is probably a door that's locked to you and that might tell you everything you need to know. A door that's locked to you and that might tell you everything you need to know. So, with all of this in mind, thinking about the end of your stressors and tiredness and fatigue, thinking about whether we're being pushed out, pulled towards something else or we've just outgrown where we are and whether we want to or have to stay, stay or whether we think it's time to go or redesign what we're doing. How can we decide what's best for us? Because, like I said, I've been in all of these situations and, speaking for myself, my brain felt a little bit like a tornado. I had all of these thoughts swirling around and around and around and I couldn't quite catch anything and hold on to it long enough to feel confident in the decision. It was really, really tough. It was like that old movie, twister have you ever seen that movie? And the cow was flying around in the tornado. It would be like reaching up and trying to grab that cow. You're not going to be able to do it, but these big decisions sometimes feel like that, don't they? They take a while to tease out. So how are we going to figure that out? Use a ready framework. Now, this is a sneak peek of a framework that I'm going to be talking about a lot more as we get into back to school, but I'm going to preview it with you here now to help you make this decision in the best way for you.

Speaker 1: 21:15

First, review Review how you're really doing? How are you doing mentally? How are you doing emotionally and how are you doing physically as it relates to your school counseling job? E, evaluate what's driving your current discomfort. Is it push, is it pull, is it purpose? Is it just fatigue from the end of the school year? Really sit and think through that and try to identify what's really going on. If these are some new feelings for you and you weren't feeling this way January, february, it might just be end of the year fatigue. Keep that in mind. A is for acting Only when you feel grounded in the decision. Do not panic, do not jump into a knee-jerk reaction or some sort of emotional response that you might regret later. Think it through, evaluate it. Okay, so that's the first three pieces of the READY framework Review.

Speaker 1: 22:20

First three pieces of the READY framework review evaluate, act. The next thing we're going to do is delegate. Now this could either be delegating some of those responsibilities, as we talked about, if you're in a position to be able to do that, or it could be delegating some of the debate to someone else, talking it out with other people who get it, talking with people who understand, who have perhaps been in similar shoes. Because when we rely only on ourselves and we stay stuck in our heads about this stuff. Sometimes we can start thinking a lot of really interesting things, and sometimes those interesting things aren't especially helpful. Saying it out loud gives it a different context and a different nuance. So delegate some of that conversation. Bring someone else into your circle so you can really dissect how you're thinking and feeling.

Speaker 1: 23:18

And Y is for yield. Yield to what your gut is already telling you, even if it's scary, even if it feels like it's pushing you to play small or too big or whatever it might be. Listen to your gut, to your intuition, because nine times out of ten it's not going to steer you wrong. Now you might have listened to all of this and be thinking yeah, you know, that's really nice and I'm glad that some people get a choice. But, steph, I don't get a choice. I'm already under contract for next year. Or there's no other school counseling jobs within 60 miles of where I live, or I can't afford to leave. My family depends on my income, my family depends on my insurance, or I cannot move where I do not have the same schedule as my kids, and there could be a hundred other similar reasons. Right, that's real.

Speaker 1: 24:25

The good news is I'll take the pressure off of you a little bit. You don't have to decide anything right now. You can give yourself some space to think it through and to be honest with yourself. Pick a date a few weeks or a few months away from now, after the school year has toned down, after the hustle and the bustle has died down, to ask yourself what do I want my work to look like and feel like in the next six months? Because sometimes we don't get clarity through some big lightning flash of epiphany right. Sometimes it's just this quiet, knowing that gets louder and louder as we sit back and let it develop. We can't always push for the answer and get the answer that we need. Sometimes that takes time and you've got to let it grow of its own accord. Sometimes that takes time and you've got to let it grow of its own accord Now.

Speaker 1: 25:23

I hope this helped you think through the different aspects of staying in your current role, considering leaving that role or redesigning it, Because, like I said, the most important part to me is that I am able to be a support to you. I don't want to give you advice. I don't want to give you advice. I don't want to tell you what I think you should do in your circumstance. I want to give you the frameworks and the decision-making tools that you can use to make the best decision for you. And I will also tell you from personal experience.

Speaker 1: 25:56

If you decide to leave your position, you need to be prepared to grieve. Even if it was the right decision for you, even if you're leaving a toxic environment, you can't wait to get out of there. You're running towards something you're super excited about. You are still leaving a version of yourself behind. You are still leaving behind somebody who tried hard, who hoped for the best on that campus, who gave and gave and gave. So, even though it might be a happy parting, you might still feel some grief, and if it's not a happy or amicable situation, you almost certainly will feel some heartbreak and maybe some regret.

Speaker 1: 26:48

If you feel that, if you feel that heartbreak, regret or grieving, it doesn't necessarily mean that you made the wrong call. I think it means that you showed up, you gave your whole heart to what you were doing, and I think that's admirable. I think that's something to be celebrated, and the great news is now you can take all of that heart somewhere else where it will be a better fit for you. It will better feed your soul so that you can better serve students. Your title may change, your campus name or your district name may be different, but your purpose is still there. Your purpose is still needed and you can still be powerful, no matter where you land, because you are still a school counselor. So if this decision is weighing on you, if you feel like you've got to decide something, you just don't know what to do, please do not carry this alone.

Speaker 1: 27:56

I mentioned before that inside the School for School Counselors Mastermind, these are the exact kinds of conversations that, believe it or not, we have a lot. As a matter of fact, in this past year, we've talked with a few school counselors who were trying to decide if they wanted to stay or leave, and we saw decisions made on both sides. We don't give fluff, we don't shame you into leaving or shame you into staying, and we don't even really tell you what we think you should do. But we do support you, we do talk it through with people who have been there and we do try to help guide you toward your best solution. If that sounds like what you need, I would love for you to join us. You can get more information at schoolforschoolcounselorscom.

Speaker 1: 28:49

Slash mastermind. My friend, whether you stay or whether you go, make it a decision that comes from a place of wisdom and not from a place of fear, because you're amazing. You continue walking through the door each and every day saying give me the worst on the campus, give me the saddest stories, the hardest situations, and let me see if I can help untangle them. Let me be a helper for some of the most terrible things that have ever happened to students. And you know what, after I've handled that all day long, I'm going to show up the next day and I'm going to do it all over again Because I love helping kids. I believe in the power of the potential of my students and I am not giving up. Do you know how incredible that makes? You Celebrate it, be proud of it and bask in that, because you are amazing. I'll be back soon with another episode of the School for School Counselors podcast. In the meantime, I hope you have the best week. Take care.