School for School Counselors Podcast

What School Counselors Miss About the Hoodie Kids

• School for School Counselors • Episode 176

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The hoodie isn’t the problem.
It’s the messages we’re missing.

In this episode, Steph Johnson takes you inside one of the most misunderstood behaviors on a school campus: the kids who cover up, layer up, or hide inside hoodies no matter the temperature. 

Using research from adolescent psychology, sensory science, trauma, school anxiety, and identity development, Steph explains what hoodie behavior really communicates… and why school counselors are uniquely positioned to decode it.

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Want support with real-world strategies that actually work on your campus? We’re doing that every day in the School for School Counselors Mastermind. Come join us! 

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All names, stories, and case studies in this episode are fictionalized composites drawn from real-world circumstances. Any resemblance to actual students, families, or school personnel is coincidental. Details have been altered to protect privacy.

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The cuffs in the sleeves were chewed so thin that he could poke his thumb through the fabric. Think May in Texas. The heat that makes the black top shimmer. And the teachers are just wilting. And there he is in the hallway, hood up, strings pulled tight, hands buried in that kangaroo pocket, walking around like he's headed into a blizzard. And then I remember another student that walked past my office window in January. Snow was in the forecast. The wind was cutting like a knife. And this kid was in basketball shorts and a t-shirt like it was a sunny day in the middle of June. And I opened the door and I was like, Are you freezing? And he's like, No, I'm fine. Two different kids, two different seasons, but the same puzzle. Adults look at these situations and immediately go to, what are they thinking? Are they looking for attention? Is that just the weird kid? Or why won't their parents dress them? You know you've thought it. But here's the part that nobody tells us. These choices are almost never about fashion. They start with safety and control and how much of themselves they're willing to let the world see. And like everything else we've been talking about in this series, what they do might look strange to us, but it's almost never random. Hey school counselor, welcome back. In this episode of our Why Did They Do That series, we're taking on one of the most confusing things we see in schools every day. The hoodie kids, the shorts and a snowstorm kids, and all the I'm fine kids whose clothes don't match the weather, but absolutely match something going on inside. So if you're ready for some straight talk, my friend, some clarity on your work and maybe a little bit of rebellion, you're gonna be in the right place. I'm Steph Johnson, and this is the School for School Counselors podcast. Alright, so let's start with the most underestimated explanation for all of this, which is regulation. Because for a lot of kids, the hoodie isn't about being cool, it's about survival. The lights are too bright, the hallways are too loud, the classroom is buzzing like a beehive, and their nervous system is on high alert long before they ever walk through your door. If you have ever tried to walk through a hallway during passing period without getting shoulder checked by a sixth grader, doused an axe body spray, you know exactly what I mean. It is basically a sensory obstacle course. So the only thing that some students can do in those moments is pull the hood up, create a little cave, and try to shrink the world down to something they feel like they can manage. This is where Polyvagel theory comes in, Stephen Porgis' work from 2011, that I'm gonna admit I completely nerded out on in the mastermind. Porgis talks about how our nervous systems are constantly scanning for accused of safety or danger. When things feel threatening, maybe they're too loud or chaotic or unpredictable, we slip into fight, flight, or freeze. That's the sympathetic nervous system hitting the gas. But when we feel safe and connected, the parasympathetic system can step in and say, okay, you're safe, you can breathe again. And a hoodie can help flip that switch. The deep, steady pressure of the fabric, the feeling of being wrapped or contained is like a DIY weighted blanket. And we've got research on this. There's a 2015 study in the American Journal of Occupational Therapy by Reynolds and colleagues that found deep pressure stimulation like weighted blankets or snug clothing can significantly reduce autonomic arousal and increase feelings of calm. In other words, something as simple as being wrapped up tightly can tell the nervous system you're safe. We're coming back to baseline. If you've been around the School for School Counselors Mastermind, you've heard me talk about this before. We've taken polyvagal theory into the cafeteria, into classrooms, into the school counseling office. And we've asked, okay, so what does safety actually look like here for an actual kid? Because it changes everything about the way you interpret student behavior. But back to the hoodie. So for students with sensory processing differences, ADHD, maybe trauma histories, that physical boundary might be the one thing that makes school feel sort of tolerable. It becomes like a portable safe space in a world that feels very unpredictable. And for a lot of kids, especially those dealing with school anxiety or sensory overload, that physical boundary is the only thing keeping them regulated long enough to make it through the day. It makes me think about Evan, a student that I worked with in the past. The same gray hoodie every single day, no matter the forecast. And every adult had an opinion about it. But when he finally trusted me enough that we could really talk, he said, When I wear it, I can't feel people looking at me so much. And for Evan, who had years of instability, that hoodie was a shield. It wasn't a fashion choice. It was the one variable in his life that he could count on. And sometimes it's more emotional than sensory. Serenity started wearing oversized hoodies when she hit puberty early and felt suddenly like she was on display. Tyson zipped his up during a family divorce. Hood up in every classroom, every day, just kind of a walking, please don't ask me anything too real. Different kids, different backgrounds, but same function. It's regulation. And once you see that, it's really hard to react to these hoodies with annoyance. Empathy really becomes the only response that makes any sense. But regulation is only one part of this. Sometimes that hoodie isn't about feeling safe, it's about having a say. Sometimes it's less about comfort and more about control. If we're honest, adolescence is basically a really long masterclass in not having control. Adults decide the bell schedule, the dress code, the seating chart, the assignments, the consequences, the everything. So what do kids do? They look for something that they can own. Psychologist Lauren Steinberg has written about this as a kind of autonomy rehearsal. The adolescent brain is wired to test limits, to push against constraints, to practice being its own boss. And we see this in the research too. A 2013 study in developmental cognitive neuroscience by Telzer and colleagues found that the teenage brain is especially tuned for novelty seeking and risk taking in social contexts. Clothing is a very low-stakes place to experiment with that. They can't control the curriculum, they can't control the fire drills, they can't control the group project partners that they've been assigned, but they can control what's on their body. The hoodie, the beanie, the shorts, the crop top, they become tiny acts of autonomy. So when an adult says, take that off, or you know you're not supposed to wear that here, to them, it's not about the hoodie anymore. It's about, do I get any say at all about anything that happens in this place? That's why you can have a kid who follows almost every other rule and still absolutely digs in on this one. Because it's not about the item, it's about dignity. And as school counselors, we have a lot of power to be able to help diffuse these standoffs by naming what's really happening. It seems like being able to choose what you wear is really important to you. Or sounds like this is one area where you feel like you have control. So we're not arguing about cloth, we're acknowledging their need for autonomy. Inside the mastermind, we talk a lot about this shift from behavior management to autonomy conversations. It's one of the reasons that folks inside the mastermind tell me that their discipline referrals drop, even though they're not the ones doing discipline. They're just helping adults talk about what the fight is actually about. But what about the kid who wears the same hoodie every day, even when it doesn't seem to be about comfort or defiance? That's when we have to look at something deeper: who they are and where they belong. Because sometimes a hoodie isn't a shield or a protest, it's a signal. Eric Erickson talked about adolescence as a crisis of identity. This is a season of trying on roles, experimenting with self-expression, and trying to answer the question, who am I, really? More recent research backs this up. A 2006 study in developmental psychology by Lysix and colleagues found that experimenting with different styles and identities is actually a healthy part of adolescent development. The teens who are allowed to explore within reasonable boundaries tend to be better adjusted. Clothing is one of the easiest ways to do that. A hoodie can be a billboard, a favorite band, a sports team, a YouTuber or gamer, or even a cultural or faith community. It's a way of saying, this is where I land. These are my people. And in a world where social belonging can feel like life or death, that matters. These small choices are some of the clearest behavioral clues in adolescence, the kind that tell you far more about the student's inner world than anything you could find in their perm file. Think about Mateo, who saved up forever to buy a Supreme hoodie. He didn't care about the brand itself, but he did care that the skater kids he desperately wanted to belong with were all wearing those. Or Destiny, who wore her youth group hoodie every Wednesday, like clockwork. For her, it was a badge of belonging and an open invitation. If you recognize this, you might be my people. And then sometimes a hoodie is less about joining than it is disappearing. For kids who feel like they stick out because of body changes, race, language, gender expression, poverty, and on and on, an oversized hoodie can be camouflage. If they can blur their presence just a little bit, maybe fewer people will notice them. And then on top of all that, there's the economic layer that we don't talk about in schools enough. Because in a lot of friend groups, the price of admission is a certain logo. If you don't have it, you're out. For some students, a hand-me-down hoodie from an older sibling or a lucky thrift store find with the right brand can become a lifeline. Like I can't afford the whole look, but I have this one thing that says I could belong here too. When we look at that hoodie, it's easy to think, why did I care so much about labels? But underneath, it's I'm trying to survive the social economy of this school. As counselors, our job is to look past the fabric and the labels and look into that ache. The need to be seen, the wanting to be claimed by some group, and the ache to not be on the outside looking in. Those fashion choices can tell you a lot about a student's landscape and their self-concept. And this is where school counselor fluency really shows up. Anyone can spot the hoodie. No big deal. It takes a fluent school counselor to see what it is saying. But then there's the kid that just blows up every category. Shorts in a blizzard, heavy coat in August, no clear pattern. What do we do with that? Well, sometimes a hoodie is just a hoodie. It's a choice that does not make any sense to us, but feels exactly right to the kid that's wearing it. Maybe it started as a sensory something and it turned into a habit, or maybe it's a social experiment, or maybe it's simply, I like this and you can't stop me from wearing it. The thing is, our job is not to turn every little wardrobe quirk into a diagnosis, right? Our job is to create space for self-discovery and to stay genuinely curious. This is where your assessment brain comes in. Some questions that I love. Is this a pattern or a one-off? Does it seem to have a function like regulation, identity, social signaling, modesty, or gender expression? How does the student respond when you ask about it in a non-threatening way? What other data points do you have? Absences, grades, friendships, discipline, family stress? When you start spotting these signs of student stress early, all the little tiny signals that most adults usually overlook, your whole approach to support changes. A solution-focused approach fits beautifully here. Instead of deciding what the hoodie means, we invite the student to tell us if they want to. A 2021 systematic review in the Journal of School Counseling, Schmidt and Schmidt, that looked at solution-focused approaches in school settings, found that emphasizing strengths, resources, and student-generated insight leads to significantly better outcomes than traditional problem-focused work. So instead of, why are you always wearing that? What's going on? We try, I notice you've been wearing that hoodie a lot. Does it do something helpful for you at school? Or on the days that you feel a little better, is there anything different about what you choose to wear? It's subtle, right? But it changes the power dynamic immediately. And just to be clear, the four lenses we've talked about regulation, autonomy, identity, belonging, those are not the only ones that matter. We also have to consider things like cultural and religious norms, gender identity and expression, family rules or expectations, trauma history, and sometimes just plain old personal preference. The point isn't to cram a student into a category. The point is to refuse to settle for the lazy explanation of they're just being difficult. Because sometimes kids are just being quirky and human. And then sometimes they are quietly waving a red flag. Curiosity is what helps us tell the difference. Inside the mastermind, that's exactly the kind of thing that we're pulling apart in consultation chats. Folks will say, okay, here's my hoodie, kid, here's the context, here's the situation, help me look at this more clearly. And by the time we're done, the conversation isn't about a hoodie anymore. It's about an intervention for that particular student in that particular situation that actually makes sense. So the question becomes what do we do with all this? How do we turn hoodie psychology into real-world support without pathologizing kids or ignoring red flags? When you walk back into that hallway and see 10 hoodies before first period, think about the cloak method, because of course I would name it cloak, right? Cloak. C is for curiosity over certainty. Lead with, I wonder what this does for them, instead of, oh I know what that means. Because the second that you decide you already know, you stop listening. L, look for patterns. One day of shorts in the snow is a funny story. Four weeks in a row plus slipping grades and withdrawing from friends becomes a pattern. You're not a fashion police officer, but you are a data collector. So look for patterns. Oh, open the conversation. When it feels appropriate and you have some rapport, invite reflection with some very non-judgmental questions. How does that hoodie help you get through the day? Are there days that you feel like you don't need it as much? No interrogation, right? No agenda, just genuine curiosity. And sometimes it'll uncover something and sometimes it won't. A. Assess function and meaning. Based on everything you know, history, academics, behavior, family, what role might this clothing be playing? Is it regulation, autonomy, identity or belonging, modesty, gender safety, or is it just self-expression because they like the color? Again, you won't always get an answer, but the act of wondering keeps you from jumping straight to they're being defiant. And then K, keep an eye out for red flags. You're watching for the shifts, the sudden change to all concealing clothing, new insistence on hiding the body, pairing these clothing changes with self-harm talk or body shame comments or withdrawing from others, or drastic style shifts after a known trauma or big family event. These are the don't ignore this moments. And above all, remember, especially when we're working with adolescents, weird is not the same as worrisome. Our goal is not to eliminate the hoodies. Our goal is to build a school culture where kids can show up as they are and where adults are fluent enough to notice when a clothing change is doing some heavier lifting. This is where your counselor fluency matters way more than any tool or any curriculum. There is not a single worksheet on the planet that can tell you what that hoodie means. No printable is going to be able to decode it for you. Fluency does that. Your clinical judgment does that. The way you think does that. And if you're listening and thinking, I want more of that, more fluency and less guessing, that's exactly what we build together inside the mastermind. We don't hand you a list of canned interventions. We help you become the counselor who can see this kind of nuance in real time. So picture this with me. Same hallway, same student in a hoodie, same puzzle teachers walking by. The scene hasn't changed, but you have. You see more now. You see how that hoodie might be a regulation tool to take away the sensory edges of a really harsh day. You see how it might be a little act of autonomy in a world where adults call most of the shots. You see how it might be a marker of identity or a badge of belonging or a way to disappear just enough to feel safe. And most importantly, you see it as communication, not a problem to be handled. These seemingly irrational clothing choices that students make, they're hardly ever random. They've been carrying meaning this whole time. And now you have better tools to help decode it. You can be the adult who says, This looks different. I'm curious about what's happening instead of, why are you doing this to make my job harder? You've heard that on Canvas, right? You can help create classrooms where a hoodie is met with empathy instead of instant suspicion. You can build relationships where students feel safe enough to take the hood down. Not because you made them, but because they don't need the armor as much around you. That's the work. So as we wrap up, I want you to think of one student who came to mind while you were listening. What did you used to assume about their clothing? And what's one tiny shift in your approach that you want to try the next time that you see them in the hallway? If you're willing, just jot their initials down somewhere just to give yourself a real moment with this. Because that's how fluency grows. One kid, one reframe, one conversation at a time. So thanks for joining me on this deep dive into the psychology of hoodies and teenage behavior. I hope you are walking away with a fresh lens, though. Maybe a little more compassion and some concrete ways that you can respond differently or that you can show to your staff. If you found value in this episode, would you share it with a colleague who has a hoodie kid that they worry about? Forward it, text it, bring it up in your next PLC. Because little by little, that's how we're going to change the way the school seek kids. And if you're craving more of this kind of support, real talk, research-backed strategy, and a community of counselors who care about fluency more than cute ideas, I'd love to see you inside the School for School Counselors Master. It's where we take episodes like this and we turn them into real, on-the-ground problem solving for your actual campus. And next week on the podcast, we're getting into the mystery that haunts every school counselor's conscience. Why do kids wait until the final bell or the day before a break to drop the biggest bombs of the year? We're gonna have a field day with this one, so if you haven't already, make sure you're subscribed so you don't miss it. I'm Steph Johnson, and this is the School for School Counselors Podcast. Until next time, keep shining that light and fighting the good fight because your students need you more than ever. Take care.

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Steph Johnson

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